Sharing Travel Experiences

Chatting with Anthony Down Under

by Andy Hayes

It’s never a dull moment around here, and this week we’ve got in the hot seat…a tart. (No, not one of those things served as dessert.) Well, this is one of those people whom I just can’t introduce. You’ll have to read for yourself….

Could you please start by introducing yourself?

My persona is better known as The Travel Tart, but I am sometimes called Anthony, or ‘Ant’ for short.
I came up with the website name when someone called me a Travel Tart, because I love travelling so much. A ‘tart’ in Australian slang has a double meaning – it’s someone who loves doing something a lot, for example, a ‘media tart’ is someone who loves putting their face in front of a camera.

Hence, I thought ‘The Travel Tart’ was a great and cheeky name for a website. On the flipside, a tart is also one rung below a prostitute! In terms of what I do, I’ve had all sorts of transformations over the years. That’s probably because I have a short attention span which means that I want to keep trying different things. My original background was in environmental science, but I’m working for a cancer charity at the moment as well as TheTravelTart.com and doing the odd trip here and there. I’m actually a cancer survivor myself and wanted to give something back, so that’s one of my other interests.

However, now I am heading off for a month long trip of Blogging Communities in Indonesia and living with the locals and seeing their country through their eyes, instead of as a tourist. I am going to be blogging on the road at The Travel Tart and also Tweeting.  You can read more about my trip online.

The reason I love travel so much is that it because it provides new stimulus which triggers my brain into overdrive. Things like new experiences, cultures, food, people and beer. Actually, I’ve been a big nerd and created my own beer index which calculates the price per litre (in Australian dollars) of beer of every country that I’ve visited.

With regards to my style of travel writing, I wanted to be different to what was out there already. There were loads of sites with things like living in the south of France, or the romance of Tuscany. Hence, my travel niche is on the funny and offbeat aspects of travel, but this can be such a range of things like a photo that doesn’t translate well into English, or a horror experience such as willingly using unsafe forms of transportation like a mini-bus taxi in Africa – and living to tell the tale.

Your ‘lively’ avatar is quite a well known photo. Care to explain the background behind it?

Yes, I receive a few comments about that avatar! Basically, I go to the cricket every year here in Brisbane with a bunch of fanatical cricket fans and we all dress up in the same costume to see if we can appear on TV. The theme for this game was dressing up as lifeguards – however, we were not required to affix fake chest hair to look like David Hasselhoff.
The photo was taken in February 2009, at the pub while we were waiting for the game to resume after a long rain interruption. There was this fluorescent bright orange wig being passed around, and I decided to have a silly photo taken of me with this wig on my head with my tongue sticking out. Actually, having my tongue stick out or pulling weird face contortions during photos is normal fare for me – most of my family photos feature this marvel muscle! My mother doesn’t think it’s that funny sometimes…

When people Direct Message me on Twitter and say they love the picture, I write back and say ‘that’s my serious avatar…. ’

Andy’s Note:  Thank god about the chest hair bit…. *whew*

You write about the “Funny, Offbeat, and Downright strange” aspects of travel. Care to tell us three quick tales – the funniest, the most offbeat, and the strangest experiences you’ve had?

1. Riding The Sahara on a Farting Camel
For those who have undertaken a camel ride, you would know that it’s not the most comfortable animal to sit on. Because of a camel’s strange shape, the legs are spread out in an unnatural position that feels at best, awkward. Well, couple that with a camel’s backbone wedged up one’s butt crack moving up and down, from side to side for a couple of hours, with the added bonus of riding a flatulent camel. I think I chose the camel that had a tonne of baked beans the night before, judging by the number of times my pelvic area recorded these intermittent farts on the Richter scale.
2. Visiting Italian relatives in Italy
I have distant relatives in northern Italy and in Sicily. When your grandparents are one of double digit families, the amount of relatives you have is therefore exponential. However, if you visit them from halfway around the world, this means you are treated to massive feasts with every one of them, down to 14th cousin.

First there was the antipasto (such as prosciutto and melon, bruschetta, cheese and salami), the pasta dish (different each day), the meat dish (once again, different each day), the vegetable dish, the dessert, fruit and finally, coffee. These courses were accompanied with the one Italian word both of us could understand – ‘Mangia, mangia, mangia!’ (Eat, Eat, Eat)!

It was a major challenge pacing oneself to ensure each of these courses was sampled. I developed a new skill of polite refusal after the fatal mistake of pigging-out too much on only the pasta course. The terrifying thought that maybe my relatives were fattening me up for Christmas dinner crossed my mind.
Each meal required at least one entire hibernation period to digest, but there was barely enough recovery time between feeds. My philosophy was to enjoy it while it lasted and build-up an essential fatty reserve before re-commencing paying for my own food.

I had Weird Al Yankovic’s song ‘Eat It’ on repeat in my head!

3. Tour of Soweto, South Africa
I booked a trip to see what Soweto was about in 2002. However, the ‘tour’ was one bloke operating by himself, cruising around in his rusted-out mid-1980s Nissan Pintara! His name was Chris, but he insisted I called him Eddie Murphy, or Eddie for short.

What was funny about Chris was that he had many dry one-liners, but the funniest was his comment about men driving expensive black Bavarian metal beasts around the narrow streets of Soweto, complete with Gauteng Province personalised number plates – ‘Diid you know that BMW means Be My Wife?’
The inference was that he was referring to anyone possessing an expensive car was on the prowl for women.

I explained the Australian version of this situation and replied ‘We have the same problem in Australia – many men use their expensive cars as phallic metallic substitutes for their penises!’

A Phoe Box – Spotted while Cruising Soweto

You are based in Australia. Any top tips?

We’re a pretty laid back bunch here. We don’t take ourselves too seriously, and it’s easy for overseas travellers to meet locals. Just go to any pub and say hello. Many Australian’s travel overseas themselves, so we know what it’s like to visit a different country and we like to party with anyone. If anyone reading this is coming to Brisbane, Direct Message me and I’m keen to head out for a few cold beers!
Actually, it’s so easy to meet locals that sometimes travellers never leave and end up marrying some of us!
But there’s so much more to Australia than Sydney and the other major cities! I originally grew up in Cairns, in Far North Queensland, and there are loads of natural wonders there. I’d done extensive travel to almost every state in Australia, and each one offers something a bit different. Remember, we’re dealing with an entire continent that is a country.

It’s like any other place you visit – it’s what you make it.

Townsville, Australia – another off-beat stop

We’ve talked about funny and strange. Now tell us about inspirational – your most inspirational travel experience.

I went to Kosovo for work in 2001, about 2 years after the mess happened. I’ve never seen anything like it before or since. Ironically, it was here where I caught the travel bug, as it was my first trip outside of Australia in New Zealand.
I used to work with some of the locals on a contamination assessment – both Serbs and Albanians, and they were both so hospitable towards me and my colleagues.

I felt sorry for people in the situation, as they couldn’t move out of the numerous enclaves unless they caught a bus accompanied by an ‘armed escort’. I didn’t understand the significance of what an armed escort was until I witnessed one – two six-wheeled tanks at the front with armed U.N. soldiers on sitting on top of them, two large U.N. buses containing Serbs in the middle and another two six-wheeled tanks at the back, with more armed soldiers. However, this fortress-like escort security was no guarantee of a safe arrival at their destination safely, thanks to the invention of high-powered grenade launchers. After seeing this heart-rending event for the first time, I was in culture shock for days afterwards.

However, everyone had an incredible spirit. I remember being invited along to an Easter Sunday dinner with my colleague with one of our Serbian helpers. They didn’t speak English, we didn’t speak Serbian. We turned up with an English/Serb dictionary and made conversation that way, and had a superb meal, washed down with a few hits of the local rocket fuel/alcohol, Rakija. We had such a great time, and I will never forget it!
It just showed me that in the direst of circumstances that the human spirit can shine so bright and that these people, who are doing it tough, would welcome foreigners into their home with open arms, and expect nothing for it.

The Streets of Kosovo…

Lastly, I love your 52 top off-beat tips. Give us your top five.

Actually, I have come across most of these offbeat travel tips myself! My Favourite Offbeat Travel Tips are:
1. The Natural Viagra Stand in Cappadocia, Turkey. A peanut stall.
2. Visit the International Spy Museum in Washington DC. James Bond and Get Smart were NOT too far fetched!
3. Eat at the Spam Jam restaurant in Manila, The Philippines. This is a restaurant that specialises in Spam recipes! It’s like the Monty Python sketch!
4. Find out how universal fart jokes are by bringing this essential gadget when travelling – The Remote Control Fart Machine
5. Try and find the highest denomination Zimbabwe Dollar you can find – which was in the trillions of dollars before it was scrapped.

Thanks Anthony!  Be sure to check out his hilarity at The Travel Tart.

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