Sometimes it is hard for me to explain how a book gets my attention. Today’s recommended reading, Whatever You Do, Don’t Run, certainly has some curb appeal (don’t run? why not?). But then I realised that it was a journal/diary/story about the life of a safari tour guide in Botswana. As an ‘employee’ of the tourism industry too, I always wonder others have to say about their dream travel jobs.
This book was everything I wanted and more. It was insightful, funny, and factual-this-is-how-it-works all wrapped in one. Let’s dive a bit further…
Why I Loved This
There’s one page in this book that not only summarises the purpose of this guide, but I think it also explains why I loved it – because it’s a book about someone who loves what they do, from the funny to the outrageous to the downright bizarre. Here’s the text:
“Don’t you ever get tired of doing this everyday?”, [my guests would] ask, sometimes a little exasperated.
“Tired, yes. But never of watching animals….When my alarm goes off, I hate it with a passion,” I would explain. ”Then I remember where I am, and that once I drag my backside out of bed I’m going to go and watch wild animals. If you had told me as a boy that this would be my job, I wouldn’t have believed you. All I ever watched on television were nature documentaries and the occasional James Bond film. I thought that because they were on television they had the same degree of reality. So if you had asked if I wanted to be a safari guide when I grew up, I would have said no, because to me it was foolish and unrealistic as wanting to be a debonair super-spy. So, when I get really tired now and it’s cold and my pillow feels too good to leave, I remember one thing: I’ve got the coolest job in the world. I’m James Bond.”
Wow. That is powerful stuff. I can relate – I feel exactly the same about my job (except, uhm, the wild animals part. Each of you readers are wonderful, but I don’t think of you with the same regard as a wild jackal.)
Safari Classic Moments
Sometimes, Peter seems like one of those people who just has a ‘knack’ for guiding and was just doing the wrong thing before he landed in this job. Other times he seems like a klutz and you’re waiting to figure out how the heck a guy that was mangled by lions managed to write a book. (The truth? It was someone else, not Peter who got mangled by a lion.)
But there are lots of moments that are just so safari awesome. Such as:
- The crazy driving through desert plains one moment, and then in a beautiful oasis the next
- Guides trying to imitate animal calls, sometimes to great effect – but never exactly the effect that was intended.
- In depth descriptions of nearly extinct animals I’d never ever heard of.
As with any tourism experience, it isn’t just the tour guide that’s part of the story. It’s also the visitors and guests as well – and Botswana is no exception. I hope none of Peter’s former guests read the book, or else they’ll be confronted with another perspective on their own bizarre behaviours! (I won’t include them here, but there were plenty of country stereotypes… you can just guess which ones.)
But Emotion Too!
This was the kicker for me – I didn’t expect some of the very emotional stories that really pulled at the heartstrings! one story reminds us that life goes on, even in the bush. He tells the story of a fellow guide who dies, of disease, not an animal attack. It’s a terribly surreal moment.
In another chapter, we learn that the guides often become ‘friends’ and give names to some of the animals that they see often. And unfortunately, the rules of the bush are that you don’t interfere and let nature take its course. Which means that often, an animal that has become a “friend” dies, and you really can’t do anything about it. It made me wonder for a minute if I could stomach being a safari tour guide – it was certainly an aspect to the job I had never considered. Peter says, about the death of one of their ‘pet’ friends:
What we both knew was that this was Africa, where life is often short and brutal. We didn’t really to to console each other. We both blustered about how dangerous it is to get attached to a wild animal, for if anything, Beau’s demise and extraordinary distribution just served to illustrate that in the end, we all go back to nature.
Get Yours
I’ve never been on a safari, which you’d think might be useful to enjoy this book, but in fact it has just more piqued my interest. If you’ve been on a safari, I suspect you’ll find this book hysterical. Either way, it gets my stamp of approval for being humorous, informative, and downright poignant all at the same time. Bravo, Peter Allison.
Buy yours today through our affiliate partner, Amazon:
Editorial Disclosure: The author was given a review copy of this guide, which did not influence the contents of this article.
Photo by p_c_w
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You mean we don’t scare you? Drat. Must try harder…